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OBLIGATORY FILLER MATERIAL – Just take a hard left at Daeseong-dong…5

Continuing
“Hey, Viv!”, I say, as we’re all being shuttled onto the bus which will take us to our hotel, “Toss me one of those miniatures, if you please. Yeah. Of course, Vodka’ll do. It’s bloody dusty round these parts.”
Viv chuckles and asks if anyone else wants anything. He’s a consummate scrounger and somehow sweet-talked a demure and pulchritudinous female Air China cabin attendant out of her phone number, Email address, and a case of 100 airline liquor miniatures.
That he looks like a marginally graying version of Robert Mitchum in his heyday and speaks fluent Dutch, French, and Italian might explain his success. I mean, a guy with four ex-wives can’t be all wrong, right?
He’s a definite outlier in this crowd. We could be characterized as a batch of aging natural geoscientists who collectively, sans Viv, add up to an approximate eight on the “Looker” scale. Besides the years, the mileage, the climatic, and industrial ravages, it’s a good thing we all have expansive personalities, as most of us are dreadful enough to make a buzzard barf.
But, save for Viv, no one presently here is on the make. Oh, sure; we’ll all sweet talk some fair nubile into a free drink or a double when we really ordered a regular drink, but we’re all married, most terminally, that is, over 35 years and counting. The odd thing is that save and except for Viv, none of us married folk had ever been divorced.
That is strange, considering that the global divorce rate hovers around 50%, and we are often called to be apart from kith and kin for prolonged periods. However, we are always faithful and committed to our marital units and those vows we spoke all those many long decades ago.
But, hey, we’re all seriously male and not anywhere near dead; and there’s no penalty for just looking, right?
Continuing.
We’re all loaded on a pre-war, not certain which war, by the way, bus which stank of fish, kimchee, and diesel fuel. We really don’t care even a tiny, iotic amount. It’s free transport, we’re tired of traveling, and not keen on walking any further than we absolutely have to.
Viv has been passing out boozy little liquor miniatures, and I’ve been handing out cigars since I bought a metric shitload back in Dubai Duty-Free and somehow got them all through customs.
We didn’t light up, as there was neither a driver nor handler present. So, we figured we’d all just wait on the cigars, and concentrate on having a little ground-level “Welcome to Best Korea” party until the powers that be got their collective shit together and provided drivers, herders, and handlers.
We sat there for 15 long minutes. Being the international ambassadors of amity and insobriety, we started making noises like “Hey! Where’s our fucking driver?” and “I am Doctor Academician! Of All State Russian Geological Survey! How dare you make me wait?
Suddenly, a couple of characters in ill-fitting gray suits and fake Rays Bans are outside the bus having a collective meltdown. Somehow, someone fucked up and put us on a ‘regular’ bus and not the ‘VIP’ bus. In other words, we got to see what the locals really got to ride around Pyongyang on instead of our supposed to be impressed by the bus that wasn’t there; but was now just arriving.
A spanking new purple-and-chrome Mercedes long-haul bus shows up. It even has our group name emblazoned above the placard that normally tells where the bus is headed or who it is for: “’국제 석유 지질 과학 연합’ [Gugje Seog-yu Jijil Gwahag Yeonhab] or ‘International Union of Petroleum Geological Sciences’”.
We are brusquely ordered off our present bus and into the opulent, obviously bespoke, bright yellow faux-leather interior Mercedes-Benz Tourismo RH M. It’s so new and so obviously a ploy to get us to think that all things here are so new and opulent, it even smells of that new car, ah, bus, aroma.
“Well, we’ll take care of that soon enough”, I muse, as the bus is equipped with ashtrays and we’re going on the scenic route to our hotel, which is only 25 or so kilometers from the airport. However, it was announced that it’ll take us about 2 hours to get to our hotel since we need to see the city in its best light and get a feeling for the town if we should ever find ourselves lost and alone.
We all know what’s going on. They’re getting our rooms ‘ready’ for our arrival and need some extra time to make sure everything’s all wired in and transmitting properly.
“Guys”, I muse to our new handlers, “I’ve been to the Soviet Union, pre-wall fall. I stayed in places where I was definitely among the first westerners ever to grace their porticos. We’re a busload of natural scientists, of eight different nationalities, covering the economic spectrum from staunch capitalism to sociable socialism to hard-core communism. You even think for a second we’re going to spill any beans about anything you’d find interesting or useful? Think again.”
In fact, it would become a running joke between us all to see what sort of fake bombshells we could drop into the normal conversation what would give the listener’s the greatest case of the jibblies.
But for now, our bags were all loaded into the cargo compartment of this very, very nice, I must admit, mode of conveyance. Our handlers: ‘Yuk’, ‘No’, ‘Man’, and ‘Kong’, are all seated upfront and please with their latest tally of bodies. We have a couple of shady fellow travelers with the knock-off Ray-Bans and shiny gray suits that just appeared out of the woodwork in the back, seated by the loo, watching over all of us, and we’re going on a fucking city tour, whether we like it or not.
We’re all present and accounted for. Let’s keep our camera in our bags for the time being as the drinking and smoking lights had just been lit as the bus fired up its new German-engineered and machined precision diesel engine.
The bus rumbled to life and after a moment or two of checking that all dials, gauges, and indicators were where they were supposed to be; without so much as a cursory glance, we pulled out into traffic.
Except there was none.
Not another bus, pushbike, tap-tap, scooter, car, truck, hover-board, or motorcycle in sight.
Nothing.
Seems we were a big deal. They shut down the main drag so we wouldn’t be encumbered by such proletariat things like traffic jams or people-things cluttering the roadway, clambering for a look at the Western scientific cadre.
So, away we whizzed, sans traffic and into the very belly of the beast, and onward; eventually, towards our hotel.
Our handlers were very kind to point out passing scenes of interest.
“Look, look! There’s the Potong River. Notice all the lovely birds, ‘eh what? See the Norwegian Blue? Beautiful plumage!”
“See here, look. Here’s the Taedong River. Many forms of fish in the river. Maybe we’ll see some fishermen. If you like, we can stop, and ask them about today’s catch.”
We all declined, as we were certain that the fish the ‘random fisherman’ we’d talk to was flown in fresh from elsewhere earlier in the day.
Besides, we were comfortable. We had our drinks, our cigars, and we were leaving the driving to someone else.
After being driven around the city and seeing all the wonderful monuments, like the faux Arch of Triumph, which looks exactly unlike its namesake Arc de Triomphe de l'Étoile in Paris.
The Arch of Reunification, a monument to the goal of a reunified Korea, which, by necessity, is unfinished. Then there’s the Tomb of King Tongmyŏng, where people are lining up, just dying’ to get in.
Finally, we all called for our hotel, the Yanggakdo, after yet another mausoleum, the Kumsusan Memorial Palace of the Sun.
Arches or tombs. Such a stunning array of monuments and places of less than moderate interest.
We were interested in Mirae Scientists street (Future Scientists street). It is a street in a newly developed area in Pyongyang to house scientific institutions of the Kim Chaek University of Technology and its employees. But we were told that it was too late, there was not much there to see, we needed to express written permission to visit, and we’d be going there tomorrow or next week.
We wheel into the parking lot of the Yanggakdo Hotel and are immediately unimpressed by the pseudo-Baroque concrete fiasco that appears to stand, wobbly, before us. It’s a page right out of the Soviet Construction-For-The-Masses Handbook. A cold, gray concrete edifice with multitudes of seemingly little, tiny windows. A perfect metaphor for our travels thus far; look at the expansiveness of Best Korean wonders, through this pinhole.
However, we judged too soon. We were told to go inside and check-in, whilst our luggage would be de-bussed for us and handled by the expertly efficient hotel staff. The lobby was opulent, tastefully laid out in earth tones of facades of veneers of marble, granite, some garnet-mica schist, if my hand lens doesn’t lie, some Prepaleozoic anatectic migmatite, displaying intricate and intense plication, xenoliths, and graphic delineation of minerals by segregation through melting points. There was a gigantic well-appointed and well kept up aquarium, complete with snuffling sharks and nuclear-submarine sized groupers.
Very handsome indeed. Impressions increasing slightly.
Then we see that there’s a bloody casino on the bottom floor of the hotel, several bars interspersed throughout the hotel, and karaoke, of which I’m not terribly fond, but some of my European counterparts almost swooned at the prospect. There are a large pool and weight rooms/gymnasia, saunas and places to relax outside of one’s room, but still under the watchful eye of the thousands of ill-concealed video cameras at every turn.
“Covert surveillance” may be a thing in Best Korea, but it’s a practice still leaves a lot to be desired. The Eastern Siberian Russians back before the wall fell were more covert with their obvious button audio microphones woven into the fabric covering the headboard of your Intourist bed than the Best Koreans here. Their cameras were ‘disguised’ as flower arrangements, overhead lights, and speakers inexplicably placed into things like standing ashtrays, refuse bins, and randomly placed holes in the wall.
The floors were all covered with exquisite what looked to be hand-woven rugs of most vibrant crimson and gold; the usual Communistic colors. Always with some sort of floral pattern or pattern that’s supposed to be reflective of nature, as I was told. Evidently, for workers to remember what nature was as they don’t get out much with 14 to 16 hours workdays here in the Worker’s Paradise.
Enough of the travelogue; we all wander up to the front desk, and each with their own passport in hand, request our reserved rooms. We supposed that we would all have rooms on different floors as the reservations were made, expired, re-made, juggled, rebooked, allowed to expire, re-jiggered, and finally formalized a scant week before we left the UK.
Nope. No such luck. We were all on the 39th floor. The place boasts 47 floors, of which, the top floor is a revolving restaurant. Evidently, food tastes better when you’re rotating.
However, it won’t spin unless you first buy a drink.
We had that thing whirling like a NASA centrifuge after its discovery the second night.
Yeah, all 12 of us are bivouacked on the 39th floor. A floor with approximately 30 rooms.
I guess we could have played “Room Roulette” and see who got which room and who’s luggage. Or we could switch every day or two to drive our handlers nuts. Or, we could just take our assigned rooms, which were conveniently located one empty room apart.
Meaning, no one had adjoining rooms. Why? Fuck if I know. We didn’t spend much time in our rooms, and that time was either sleeping or showering. We’d all meet at the bar, casino, restaurant, karaoke, bowling alley (all three lanes) or actual meeting rooms every once in a while when we thought we should get together and compare notes. It was the most inexplicable situation.
Plus, we spent an inordinate amount of time waiting on the fucking elevators to take us to our room. These elevators, and if you think you’re going to get a batch of aging senior scientists to schlep it up 39 floor’s worth of stairs, think again; are the slowest elevators in the civilized world. And that was the consensus of scientists representing not only Europe and North America, but Russia as well. 15-25 minutes added to each journey, up or down; stopping on every floor, except 5, on the way down..
Jesus Q. Fuck, dudes. If you can’t construct a bleedin’ elevator that works better than those at the Sozvezdie Medveditsy Guest House in Lesosibirsk, Eastern Siberia; then I suggest you seriously rethink your plans for world domination and new world order.
Grako and Erwin once, while waiting for the fucking elevator, figured out that we were earning some US$25 each just to wait for the lift to arrive and take us to our rooms. Every day. Sometimes several times per day.
With that, we all agreed to toss our “waiting time” funds into a kitty and on our last day of captivity here, blow it all in the hotel casino. Whatever became of that would be donated to the Koreans we thought most deserving of our largesse.
Would it be our handlers? How about the Korean Scientists we’d be meeting? The affable and most accommodating concierge? Or that plucky little Korean charwoman who was always on our floor and kept everything spotless, right down to our freshly laundered and pressed field clothes and newly polished field boots; done without our requesting or knowledge?
Only time would tell.
It could be a fortune or it could be bupkiss. Just like our expectations of the Heavenly Kingdom where we were currently sequestered.
As it was, with our official protestations, they kept only photocopies of our passports as we roundly refused and threatened a full-scale karaoke battle right here in the lobby if they didn’t relinquish our passports immediately. I had broken out my nastiest cigar and was primed to offend.
With that, we all had our keys and trooped over to the elevators for our first, of many, inexplicable waits. We made many uncharitable and potentially nasty remarks about the Anti-Western posters that made up some of the wall décor. Once we finally made it to our floor, we all fanned out to find our rooms. Viv found his first and was quite pleased to report to the rest of us that there was a “Welcome” basket in his room.
We all hoped that we would be receiving one a well.
I was in room 3914; which I considered a close call, but later only wondered as there was no 3913. Upon entering, I saw it was 1980s Hotel 6 opulent, but with an excellent over-city view. True it was late, dark, and the city was only somewhat lit up; I was looking forward to the view of the town in full daylight.
The room had a ‘king’ bed; that is if the king in question was Tutankhamen, the stubby, Egyptian boy king. The bed had no mattress pad and no box spring but it was hard enough for my liking. Many of my compatriots didn’t agree and complained bitterly. They eventually received thin mattress pads for all their kvetching.
There was an ancient Japanese color television, which only had 2 English language channels - Al Jazeera and the BBC, which was on a dated news loop. Watching the local channel is amusing though; the ads for ‘personal enhancements’ were hilarious, even without understanding a word of the language.
There were a couple of chairs and a low table, built-in dresser drawers for our clothes, a rusty and probably unusable room safe with corroded batteries, a small table built out of the wall that would serve as my travel office, and would-you-believe, a rotary telephone; how’s that for nostalgia?
There was an old-model radio built into the nightstand next to the bed. I was very surprised to find it not only received AM, FM but shortwave as well. I had brought along a pair of Bose headphones and during some rainy down days, spent many fun-filled, and I mean that sincerely, hours DXing from the comfort of my ‘enormous’ king bed.
Beyond that, the room was very nondescript. Like any other of the millions of rooms in hotels around the world that unlike here, aren’t claiming a 5-star rating. I mean, it was clean, if not a little long in the tooth. But didn’t smell too terrible, even after I took care of that with my Camacho offerings. It was utilitarian, everything worked, even the water pressure, which surprisingly could strip off layers of one’s skin if you weren’t careful.
The bathroom, though no Jacuzzi, had a large enough bathtub for the occasional soaking period. Western accouterments in the bathroom were also welcome additions. My knees can’t handle the traditional squat-holes any longer.
There were an electric teapot and several brands of tea, but no coffee. A quick “Gee! I sure wish I had some coffee!” to the four walls and damned if 30 minutes later, a porter didn’t arrive to replenish my tea and courtesy in-room coffee…
There was a small Japanese brand in-room refrigerator which I thought might house a mini-bar. Oh, no! It was actually a complimentary larder stocked with all sorts of Best Korean goodies. Multiple cans of Taedonggang beer. Several bottles of Pyongyang Soju, in various flavors ranging anywhere from 16.8 to 53 percent alcohol by volume. My fridge was skewed towards the right-hand side of the bell curve; the more heavy-duty boozy side.
Evidently, my reputation had preceded me again.
There was a selection of German-style wheat beers from the Taedonggang Brewery and the more familiar ales, steam beers, and lagers. There were some imported beers like Heineken, Bavaria, Pils, a couple of Japanese brands: Asahi and Kirin, and something called ‘Hello Beer’ from Singapore.
There were also ‘sampler’ bottles of Apricot Pit wine, and a couple of high-alcohol fruity liquors made from constituents such as apple or pear, and mushrooms. There were also special medicinal liquors like ‘Rason’s Seal Penis Liquor’.
That is going home with me unopened.
There were a couple of bottles of local sake, called Chonju. Finally, there was a couple ‘samplers’ of homemade alcohol known as Makkoli. Plus there was something called ‘Corn Grotto’, which for the life of me, looks and tastes much like a very passable Kentucky Sippin’ Bourbon.
I put our concierge on instant danger money the very next day. He’s yet to source me more than a fifth of the stuff so far.
I found that there is a popular drink here which mirrors the Yorsch of Mother Russia. Beer and soju can be mixed to create *somaek’; a foamy, frothy, funky drink of many flavors, depending on the soju chosen.
Is ethnoimbibology at thing? The science of how different cultures drink and the effects of drinking culture on different societies. If not, now I have another Ph.D. to pursue after I endow a chair at some likely Asian university.
Anyways, in everyone’s room was a “welcome” basket, just chock full of Best Korean goodies. Postcards, stamps, ads for coin sets, stamp proofs and other goodies that could be purchased at the hotel. There was a field notebook, which I thought was a very nice addition, newspapers, cookies, crackers, biscuits, candies, fruit drinks, and some fresh fruit; although tamarind chewies and durian chips aren’t on my list of personal favorites.
There were a couple of tour books, just chock full of staged photos. These were very nice as well, as so far, we haven’t had much time for shopping outside of government stores or smaller family-run shops in town or out in the boonies.
A few of us were hungry and decided to see what the hotel had to offer room service-wise.
Bupkiss.
But, they did have a selection of restaurants. There is a Chinese restaurant, a European restaurant, and a Korean restaurant on site but they all serve the same food...a Best Korean attempt at western food. And it was weird being the only ones in the restaurant even though it was fully staffed.
We grazed lightly and decided to do some late-night perambulations around our hotel. Our handlers admonished us to stay within the confines of the hotel, or see them if it was absolutely necessary to go walkabout. In the hotel, we were on our own.
We found that there were tunnels in the hotel’s basement. The basement tunnels were a real bonus. There’s a bar with pool tables, a karaoke room, bowling, and a massage parlor, where I was beaten and pummeled into submission by tiny, diminutive, little Korean lassies fully 1/5th my size.
It was wonderful.
There was a hairdresser’s, who were completely befuddled by my shoulder-length silver-gray locks and full gray Grizzly Adams beard. They did provide a lovely shampoo/cranial massage though for the equivalent of US$2.
There were a couple of shops selling Chinese goods rather than local stuff, which was sort of disappointing, a cold noodle bar, and another casino. No shops selling Korean Communist propaganda posters, as I wanted to augment my Soviet-era collection. Perhaps I’ll find something in-country later on.
We were shocked to find that the casino had WiFi that was uncensored and we were able to access; after a fee of liquor miniatures and a cigar or two. We were supposed to have access to the global internet, not local intranet, from the universities that we would be visiting. However, all of that was under the heavily squinting eyes of handlers and guys in shiny suits wearing fake Ray-Bans.
I still had my secret satellite internet lash-up available, but that was iffy, a pain in the ass to set up, and ridiculously expensive. However, it did work on the 39th floor and the times I used it instead of wandering down to the tunnels, no one appeared to be the wiser. Thus far.
So typically, we’d just head to the basement casino with our laptops, iPads, and phones. Bam! Robert’s your Sister’s Husband, we could connect more-or-less free with the outside world; hence how you are reading this now.
Herro! “Yes, I’d sure like another beer. This time a porter, if you please.”
The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain. Or the more they put into locks, the easier they are to pick.
Besides, we were told we’d have access to unfettered and free internet. OK, so we just found it for ourselves. Whaddya expect? We’re scientists, motherfucker, back off.
Ahem.
Back to reality.
The breakfast buffet the next morning had a wide choice of Asian and Western food, although the choices seemed to be the same every day. The main event was to beat the Chinese tourists to the egg station every morning. Breakfast always included fried eggs, a limited selection of pork, kippered fish, potatoes, rice, fruit, and a very Titanium-dioxide-white white bread
After a while, I took to going to the small market behind the lobby, buying some imported Chinese or Japanese nibbly bits and heading to the tunnels for a few breakfast beers before the long hard day’s work. It took almost a week, but I gained the trust of some of the workers in the tunnels and they showed me the on-site microbrewery at the hotel. It produced very passable, and very, very cheap beers of several varieties.
Liquid bread. Beer. Is there nothing it can’t do?
After breakfast our first day at the hotel, we were told to meet in the Conference Room “Il-sung” as we were going to have a ‘Welcome foreign imperialist scientists’ introduction and indoctrination.
Besides our handlers and the shiny-suit squad, there were several Korean folks we didn’t recognize. These were students, scientists, and scholars from the Kim Chaek University of Technology, Kim Il-sung University, the Pyongyang University of Science and Technology; all hailing from Pyongyang, and the University of Geology from North Hwanghae Province.
“Oh, marvelous”, Erlen remarked, “It’s going to be a bloody Chautauqua. We’ll be here all day.”
“Well”, I replied, “It could be worse. We could be on a bus headed off on another unscheduled road trip.”
As we found our seats, our Korean counterparts were busily setting up portable screens, like the ones your grandfather had for showing his 2.1 Googleplex worth of travel slides every Christmas or Thanksgiving get-together. They had a couple of ancient Chinese brand laptops that could have doubled for body armor, they were so thick and heavy.
While they fiddled with running cords for the overhead projectors and 16mm film projector; yes, it was going to be movie time as well, the hotel’s restaurant folks wheeled in carts laden with scones, cupcakes, and other sweet sorts of bakery. Another cart was wheeled in with pump-pots of hot water, tea, and coffee. Usual scientific meeting fare.
There was one final cart that made the day bearable. It held a pony keg of hotel micro-brewed beer on ice, with several dozen frosty mugs available for all who wanted to partake.
There were instantly 12 mugs that were spoken for.
I grabbed a cold beer and wandered around the conference room, sipping beer, chewing on an unlit cigar, and just trying to be pleasant to our hosts and their scientific guests. I was surprised when one North Korean professor, who spoke amazingly British-tinged English, offered me a light for my cigar.
“Is smoking allowed here?” I asked.
“Allowed?” he laughed heartily, “My good man, it’s practically a prerequisite.”
“Here then”, I said, offering him a nice, unctuous Camacho, “Try one of mine.”
Dr. P'ung Kwang-Seon of the North Korean University of Geology became my instant and lifelong friend at that moment.
We had a very nice chat, much to the chagrin of the gray suit cadre, who could hear what we were talking about, but probably didn’t understand anything beyond every 8th word.
After a while, we were asked to take our seats, after refreshing our drinks, and introduced to the group of Korean geoscientists we’d be interacting with during our stay here in Best Korea.
I tried to record every name, but between the students, other scholars, and professors from the various universities, I decided I’d ask for a list of participants once the day had worn on. After all, they had all our names, references, and resumes if the thick folio they kept referring to was any indication.
There were a couple of hours of introductions, as every one of the Korean geoscientists there introduced themselves, mostly through translators, told of their personal area of specialty, and their latest work.
Most were what would be considered geoscientists, but oddly enough, not one that you would consider a petroleum geoscientist, however tangentially.
There were geomorphologists, structural geologists, petrologists, mineralogists, marine geologists, engineering geologists, and seismologists. However, there were no stratigraphers, sedimentologists, paleontologists, or geochemists. We were all geoscientists, but apart from the obvious Korean:English disparity, it was as if we spoke different scientific languages as well.
That would be our first hurdle to overcome.
They had no oil industry here; none whatsoever, therefore why one would bother with the geosciences that fed directly into petroleum? That, in and of itself, would make it difficult to explore for oil in the country. Couple that with the fact that they’re so insular, think their version of ‘science’ is the best, at least that’s the official line, and think all other’s ‘science’ is capitalistic, substandard, and inferior doesn’t bode well for your country discovering anything either oily or gassy.
We were having another conclave around the beer keg, ack, err…a ‘coffee break’ and I mentioned this fact to my scientific colleagues.
“Guys”, I need input here, “We’re going to get precisely nowhere if they won’t even acknowledge that they have major problems from the start.”
Ivan replies, “Very true. I’ve seen this before back home. You get a group so entrenched in their own little corner of science, they can’t even accept or acknowledge that others exist. Not only exist but actually know more about a certain problem than do you.”
Dax joins the fray, “Sure, that’s very true, but who’s going to tell them this unfortunate fact? They could take that as a personal, national, and global insult. Imagine you’re at an international conference and a bunch of foreigners walk in just to tell you you’ve been doing it all wrong for the last 75 years.”
I add, “Remember, though. These characters are scientists as well. I think it’ll be a good measure of seeing what sort of science and scientist we’re dealing with here. If they are truly researchers, they’ll listen to and evaluate what we say as for veracity and accuracy. If they’re just a bunch of Commie goons; no offense, Comrade Academician Ivan, they’ll get all pissed off, kick us out, and we get to go home and enjoy our triple Force Majeure pay.”
Ivan walks over and deliberately steps on the toes of my newly polished field boots.
“In Soviet Russia, field boots walk on YOU.” He laughs in his heavily inflected, and scary, Soviet-era speech…
“Yes, I agree”, Joon adds, “But who is going to address this issue with our hosts? Perhaps one of our Russian comrades, as they are, or were, more politically aligned with our Korean friends and perhaps best understand the issue?”
Ack speaks up, grinning maniacally, “No, I disagree. We should have the one person here who so encapsulates the ideologies and political leanings that they love to hate here so much. You know; the quiet, diminutive, and soft-spoken North American…”
Dax recoils, “Oh, no! I’m not going out in front of this mob of ornery Orientals…”
I smile wanly and tell Dax to cool out.
“Relax, Dax. They’re talking about me.”
“Oh, yes”, a collective group of voices replies, “Yes. Let out fearless Team Leader break the bad news to our Eastern Colleagues. That way we can gauge their reactions to being bounced around scientifically by a member of the Evil Capitalist Cartel.”
“OK”, I reply, “I’ll do it. But be forewarned, my fine feathered fiends. I get stuck on a topic that’s not precisely my bailiwick, I’m going to throw your ass to the wolves. Remember, we’re all in this together.”
Whoops, and catcalls were reduced to mumbles and ‘Aw, fucks.’.
Chautauqua resumption was called and I asked for the floor.
It was a bit off the agenda, but since they’ve been chewing the air for the last several hours, they understood it would be appropriate for us to at least try and get a word in edgewise.
I downed my beer, and grabbed a fresh one as what I was going to say was going to be harsh, cut-and-dried, and rather pointed. But delivered in a pleasant manner.
I hoped.
This all had to be filtered through a series of translators, one for general conversational Korean and another for the more technical and scientific transliterations. I realized I was going to be up here for a while. So, I brought a cigar.
One way or another, I was going to deliver our pronouncements and hell, I may as well be comfortable while doing it.
.
“Greetings and felicitations, my Eastern Colleagues. Let me first say how nice it is to be here in the Democratic People's Republic of Korea as part of the ….”
I’m going to fast-forward through all the flowery bullshit and introductory happiness; I’ll going to just cut to the guts of the matter.
“…Now, you do know why there has been virtually no oil, gas nor any other hydrocarbon related deposit discovered here in the Democratic People's Republic of Korea?” I asked by way of a rhetorical question.
I sipped my beer and lit my cigar. In for a chon, in for a won.
I let the buzzing subside on the side of our eastern counterparts.
“Because, and please do not take this as insulting or derogatory, but as a statement of irrefutable fact, no one with the proper training nor experience has been looking. You’re historically guilty of applying the science incorrectly and letting dogma and politics guide your search, instead of the scientific method and the facts. Geology, like all natural science, is just as truth based on the facts for a capitalist as it is for a communist. Reality is not influenced by your beliefs, be they scientific or political, secular or spiritual, ‘trusted’ rather than ‘thought’; any more than by your wish that it wouldn’t rain today during a raging thunderstorm.”
Little Boy over Hiroshima was dropped with less effect.
Our Democratic People's Republic of Korea colleagues erupted into a chaotic mixture of stuttering, internecine yelling, accusations, and sputtering.
Calling for decorum, I figured that since I was this far gone, I may as well push the plunger all the way to the bottom.
“Gentlemen, I do not denigrate the science of geology as taught and practiced here in Best Korea.” I actually said that, sort of a slip of the tongue. Continuing, “However, one would not fish for Bluefin tuna from a rowboat in a pond with a fly rod. One does not hunt bear in the city with a slingshot. Just as one doesn’t search for oil and gas with mining engineers, geomorphologists, and seismologists.”
I let that sink in and after the translation, they calmed a bit and wanted to hear the rest of what I had to say. I could sense a couple was less than thrilled with what I had to say, but forging onward…
“One fishes for Bluefin tuna in the deep ocean with huge rods, reels and a specialist boat captained by someone with deep experience in hunting the elusive fish. One hunts bear in the proper environment, the taiga or forest, with the proper tools and guided by one with the education, learnedness, and experience to know how to make the hunt come out successful.”
Hit them with some analogies they can relate to and digest. Now, go for the carotid.
“Just like one does not hunt oil and gas without stratigraphers, sedimentologists, geophysicists, petrophysicists, and other oil and gas experts who have the education, experience, and knowledge to know where to look. Knowing which environment looks most conductive to hide your quarry, if you’ll pardon the pun, and how best to find them, the guys who know how to corral and de-risk them once you find them, and the engineers and technologists who know how to bring them to the surface so they can be utilized.”
They had stopped being irritated and were listening in rapt attention.
“My colleagues and I have spent the last few days going over, in detail the geology of your country. There is nothing we can see that would preclude the development, entrapment, and preservation of economic quantities of oil and gas. Ture, the geology is quite complex as is the structural history of the entire peninsula. That’s one other thing you will have to accept. Geology doesn’t give the tiniest shit about political boundaries. One must look at the big picture, and that doesn’t stop at some man-made borders. Ignore that fact at your peril, because if you continue to view the geology here as not existing across political boundaries, you are preadapting yourself for failure.”
Drs. Ivan, Volna, and Morse make certain that everyone sees the ex-Soviets agreeing with the bushy-bearded, cigar-chomping American capitalist.
“So,” I said, hoping to bring this little spit-balling session to a fortuitous close, “If we can have an agreement; scientific agreement, on these points, then I am certain we can find a way forward with not only this discussion but the program we can devise for the best Korean (notice phase shift?) geologists to take the project forward both scientifically soundly and economically successful.”
My North Korean counterpart gets up from his seat in the conference room, goes to the keg, taps a couple of beers and walks up to the podium where I was standing.
“Thank you, Dr. Rocknocker, for saying what needed to be said”, he spoke in perfect English as he handed me a beer.
I grinned and gratefully accepted the beer.
“Why, Dr. Chang Kwang-Su”, I said, as that was his name, “You old fraud. You do speak English; and very well, I must add.”
“Yes, almost all of us do”, he relayed, “But, as you said, we are most reserved. We were more or less under orders of the ‘most illustrious’, to play coy, and act as if we spoke no English.”
“I see.” I said, “I’ve worked in several FSU countries as well as Russia and saw that there as well. I guess old habits die hard.”
“That they do, Doctor.”, he replied, “But, we must now tell you the truth. We knew exactly what you said is true, and we agree. We are not as totally insulated from the outside world as some suspect.”
“Well, I was going on what your superiors related to us. Like the police that had all their toilets stolen, I had nothing else to go on.” I replied.
“Ah, ha! Quite!”, he chuckled, “We had long suspected that we were lacking in certain areas of scholarship. What you said cements that fact as it was an independent conclusion. We can now present that to our superiors with the caveat that unless we bolster work and training in these areas, the hunt of hydrocarbon resources here will be for naught.”
“I am relieved”, I said, truthfully. “I was slightly concerned that some might take umbrage to being told their science is not up to specifications. I tried to be the bearer of that bad news but deliver it gently. Here, I find you need that to use that as a truncheon to smack one’s boss upside the head and tell him that an upgrade is required. And fast.”
“Ah, so”, he replies, “We are in total agreement. Now that is out of the way, we would appreciate it if you’d help in designing a course of study for up and coming local geoscientists. Then, we can go forward with a great plan to search for oil and gas here in…Korea. Correct?”
“Absolutely”, I remarked, “You’ve got over 400 man-years of science and exploration expertise here in this room alone. Let’s shoot for the moon, so to speak. Let’s get you up to speed on scientific journals and articles that are available out there in all of academia and industry. Let’s get you communicating on a global basis. Let’s prove that you can talk science with global scientists and still not have it affect your political or nationalistic aspirations one little bit. Let’s see if we can drag you, figuratively speaking, kicking and screaming, into the 21st century.”
“Doctor”, Dr. Chang remarked, “You are the embodiment of what we were always told what Americans are. Brash, loud, confident, and evil. Except for evil, you are American as we were led to believe.”
“Hey, I take that as a compliment”, I exclaim. “You think that’s bad, I’ve got a bunch of earnest Europeans, raucous Russians, and a couple of cagey Canadians on my side as well. Before we’re finished here, we’ll have you ordering hachee, dining on Caldo Verde, snacking on salmiakki, drinking Russkaya vodka with Pabst Blue Ribbon beer, eating poutine, and rooting for the Packers.”
“Doctor, I don’t know what half of that means, but I hope it comes to pass. It sounds most fascinating.” Dr. Chang chuckles.
The rest of the day was spent with various groups crystallizing and breaking off from the main crowd; then reforming as different groups. This was good, as it showed an interest across not only national borders but across ideologies and scientific specialties.
Most everyone here spoke English with some degree of fluency, so the translators were called in only occasionally.
I made certain they were included in everything that transpired that day. I want everyone to feel ‘part of the team’. How better to show the classlessness of Western science to include everyone in on both sides of every discussion and activity?
To be continued…
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Five Top Online Casinos and Best Casino Sites

Five Top Online Casinos and Best Casino Sites
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Top online casinos and some of the best casino sites enable people to play and bet money on casino games over the internet. It is a popular form of online gambling. Online Casinos typically offer odds and payback percentages that are marginally better than a physical casino. Some online casinos report higher payback percentages for slot machine games and some post payout percentage audits on their sites. Assuming that the online casino uses a correctly designed random number generator, table games like blackjack have a fixed house bottom. The payout rule for these games is determined by the rules of the game.

Which Are the Five Top Online Casinos in 2020?

New top online casinos are opened every month, and some existing casinos are folding and leaving the industry every year. Below you'll find five of the best online casinos for both desktop and smartphone users.
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Launched in 2017, Spin Casino is one of the fastest rising online casinos in the world. The fact that it was one of the most recommended gambling sites in 2019 suggests something about its management. Just like other online casinos considered to be the best, Spin Casino provides games from top developers, including Play n Go, Netent, IGT, Microgaming and Play Soft.
  1. Slotty Casino
Slotty is one of the best online ask it casinos. It has top reviews by its players, quick and reliable customer support and a wide range of games. Slotty provides one of the largest variety of slots you can find online. It has more than 1000 games, all of which generate bonuses up to the fourth deposit. Released in 2014, Slotty has become one of the biggest names in the industry, part if which is owner to the fact that players from all over the world are welcomed. The site supports eleven major European Languages.
  1. 888 Casino
888 Casino is one of the biggest brands in the industry. The gambling website launches in 1997, which means it has been on the online market for 23 years now. More than 100 countries with progressive gambling laws have access to the 888 Casino. It supports more than 10 forms of payment, including Skrill and Paypal. Regardless of which payment option you choose, you get 100% deposit bonus up to $200 on your first deposit. The bonus can be used to play whichever game you want and the customer service will respond in less than an hour.
  1. Vegas Online Casino
Vegas Online Casino has established a reputation for doing business fairly, which is a real bonus in an industry where scams and fraudulent sites create major problems for players. Video poker enthusiasts are sure to enjoy the casino's wide variety of power variants. Almost 30 unique play options are available, All America and Deuces Wild included. If poker isn’t your thing, you can go for other typical table games like craps and roulette, or explore the casino's range of slot games.
  1. Royal Panda
Royal Panda offers a fantastic variety of slots and table games suitable for any device, including smartphones. It has a very attentive and responsive customer service and some of the quickest payments in the industry. Also, huge jackpots are up for grabs. Royal Panda Casino has forever transformed the landscape by putting consumers first, hosting fun games and providing absolute transparency. Based in the international gaming nexus of Malta, the casino welcomes players from around the globe. The website even holds multiple international licenses.

What Are the Best Casino Sites?

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• Casiplay Casino is one of the most inspiring and best casino sites in the world. Where other sites have a simpler website design, Casiplay is rich in functionality. The graphics are stunning and support hundreds of games. Casiplay's owner or William Hill, the UK's famous sports bookmaker. • NY Spins Casino was launched in 2018 as a web-based gambling platform for both mobile and desktop devices. It has gained popularity by providing quick pay-outs, having an efficient site and customer service and support from the biggest game developers. • Bet MGM Casino NJ has a large selection of video slots, table games and other betting choices that are fun to play thanks to the design futures from developers like IGT and Lightningbox. The very best thing about BetMGM Casino NJ is that you can use it to gamble on countless different sporting events as well as daily casino games. NBA, Premier Leaugue soccer, NFL and other major leagues are covered in depth through the bookie section on the website. • Wild Casino is a platform that offers players the chance to access a number of different games. All you need to do is use the navigation menu at the top of the website to get to them. The games that make up the Wild Casino lobby come from Betsoft, a successful and we’ll know provider, and Nucleus Gaming, a rarer but equally appealing developer. This guarantees that the lobby has a variety of games that you can access, many of which feature amazing graphics and exciting gameplay in categories such as slots, blackjack and table games. • Euro Palace offers you both of both worlds, if you are looking for amazing games and the best casino site. As the name suggests, the elegant palatial atmosphere would attract the most discerning players. Instead of being noisy and distracting by clashing colours and bulky pictures, the understated, uncluttered site with an elegant dark blue backdrop offers the ideal atmosphere to let the games take center stage. Euro Palace has become a top digital casino destination for sophisticated players from a variety of countries.
Whether you were looking for the top online casinos or wanted to know what are the best casino sites that offer an amazing graphic experience, this is the list for you. As an afterthought, you should know that most of the online casinos buy or rent their software from companies like International Game Technology, Amaya, Microgaming, Playtech, CryptoLogic, Golden Race or Realtime Gaming.
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Play Online Pokies

Did you understand that pokies are one of the most played games in gambling enterprises and also on the internet video gaming? Actually, the pokies produce concerning 70 percent of the average gambling establishment's income. This is because they are so simple yet thrilling and also do not require any discovering or special skills. Unlike other gambling games, pokies depend primarily on the player's good luck in mix with couple of essential strategies.
Pokies maker are recognized around the world by different names. In fact possibly you have actually heard a few of them and you just did not recognize that they describe the exact same game. Pokies are referred to as fruit machines, casino poker makers, or gaming machines Australia.
Pokies are wagering makers that have 3 or even more reels that spin whenever you push a switch or move an arm attached to the maker. The land-based pokies also have a coin detector which detects if a coin is inserted. When the coin is put the video game begins quickly. Pictures as well as signs on the screen begin to move up or down and afterwards unexpectedly quit. You win if the images match Complimentary Pokies
A raising number of people have tried playing pokies in real gambling establishments or in the on-line gambling enterprises. Do you understand why? Because as soon as you attempt it, you appreciate it so much that you are being literally formulated to it! You get pleasure from the enjoyment you get every time you rotate the wheel. You enjoy the uncertainty whether you win or shed, which provides a moment of adrenaline thrill. However, for sure, I understand that you like to win as opposed to shed Australia.
Although with pokies you rely mainly on good luck, recognizing its ins as well as outs with the right approach surely helps in raising your chance of winning. If you are aiming at winning a great deal, it is best that you familiarize on your own with establishing reasonable money management and also techniques.
Let's discuss pokies myths. Perhaps you've heard the idea that if you keep playing on one certain equipment and invest a lot of cash there one way or another you will definitely win. Well, sorry to bring an end to your conviction yet this is most definitely not true! There are no premises that would support this concept. As an evidence, there are even instances when a player wins a prize after just two spins while others fail to win also after rotating the entire day. The real concept behind the pokies device is that it follows the complex theory of randomly generating numbers, and also each number stands for a certain combination of the reel.
So what's your best technique when playing pokies? To start with it is finance. Before playing, decide on how much you agree to spend. Have a certain bidding quantity and constantly, and also I mean constantly, adhere to it. Whether you win or lose do not differ your strategy. In cases when you happen to lose, do not try to maintain playing up until you win everything back since if you do, you obtain available to more losses. It is necessary that you preserve self control.
An additional equally crucial point to keep in mind is to kick back during the video game. Bear in mind, you are there for satisfaction. Once you obtain distressed, after that the major factor for having fun is lost. So, it is much better to quit, regroup, and play the next day. Try playing devices that provide totally free games, below you are under no pressure and hence you can invest a long time there till you obtain your cool back. You can not win or lose cash right here yet instead you can acquire more experience.
Australian Fruit Machine Or Pokies.
In the 1950s, an Australian company called Aristocrat established their very first one-armed bandit called the "Clubman." They modified it 2 years later on with a brand-new as well as better vending machine called the "Clubmaster." Nevertheless the first vending machine was originally created in the USA of America by a man named Charles Fey Free Pokies.
It wasn't until the 1900s when the slots lastly struck Australia. In 1956, the NSW Australian government legalized gaming machines in clubs.
The next few years provided nothing new in terms of the video game technology. They all had three spinning reels as well as either one, three or five lines. The rewards were by today's standards tiny and also the interactivity was limited to drawing the manage and also waiting for the reels to quit Australia.
It was not until the mid 1980's when the very first video ports rolled off the production lines and also were launched to the public. This was the most significant growth in video gaming given that Charles Fey had designed the very first video game. Not only did the video games have 5 reels but the likewise had many more lines as well as provided added means to win such as cost-free spin attributes as well as perk attributes.
Nowadays, you are likely to see these slot machines all over you enter Australia; from clubs to gambling establishments. They are just one of the most prominent types of betting and also enjoyment.
Pokies is a slang word in Australia for vending machine. There is no recorded day for when the term "Pokies" was first utilized in Australia. Individuals in Australia usually state points like "I'm off to the bar to play some pokies" or "I'm off to have a wager at the pokies."
Discover Pokies Online!
Pokies are frequently described as port video games. These games are tremendously prominent amongst casino players worldwide. It is mainly based upon the idea of sheer good luck and hence the requirements of winning or losing becomes uncertain. On the internet pokies are created according to the precise feel and look of land based casino sites. This game supplies hard competitors to all its gamers. Pokies online includes functions such as multi line bets, reward function games, particular gambling functions and lots of various other qualities comparable to an initial casino.
There are many advantages while selecting to play pokies online as contrasted to the land based ones. The primary reason regarding why people opt for such online poker video games is the high percentage of payouts. Typical casino site has reduced payments because they need to consider the maintenance of these casino sites. Yet on the internet pokies above expenses are incredibly low and also hence they account to high payouts. Aside from these benefits, these video games also offer particular considerable tips to the player so that he/she can make use of these reminders and also win the video game. The slot video games provide you a great chance to make money unlike any various other on-line gambling enterprise video games. A gamer does not need to break his head constantly in order to get necessary skills because it entirely relies on your luck Free Pokies.
There are different slot machines that have released several versions of these games to please the gamers. A number of these pokies games have gained immense appeal amongst people. Some of the popular ones are: Queen of the Nile, 50 Lions, Super Bucks, Wild methods and also Burial place raider.
Queen of the Nile is the very first amongst all pokies games because the moment of its launch. It features an Egyptian style and also offers cost-free video games bonus offer. Consequently 50 Lions video slot is also being extensively played among several players. It has teams which presents the top having fun lion icon on each of the reels. Wild methods includes a Wild African style with specific icons such as lions, zebras as well as elephants. In A Similar Way Super Bucks are on-line pokies games that supply a chance to pick between cost-free spin choices.
Burial place Raider is taken into consideration to be the very first brand that accredited itself to an on-line computer game slot. This video game consists of numerous features and also excellent graphics. It is a 5 reel port game with additional 2 video game bonuses. It likewise includes the function of free spin mode. These unique top quality animated graphics puts it amongst the preferred pokies on-line games.
The phenomenon of Australia and casino poker is identified with each other due to the victory of fellow Aussie Joe Hachem at the WSOP in the year 2005. His triumph has brought interest amongst people in Australia and hence has motivated them to play this sporting activity. Words "Aussie pokies" has actually been derived from it, as poker is one of the most common leisure games in Australia.
How to Wager Online With a Poker Device
Every location around the globe has its very own term for every casino site game known to guy. The same opts for poker. Online poker is known as pokies in Australia as well as, in Britain, it is labelled as slot machine. Regardless of what its name is, one thing stays the very same, casino poker has never ever fallen short to intrigue casino players specifically with its video game play that is majorly based on pure chance Free Pokies.
Nevertheless, with the coming of on-line innovation, on-line betting also entered the photo and also this was just one of the very best benefits that British gamblers experienced in their years of playing in casino sites. What deals with do these online betting sites offer? First off you get to play all type of games such as various sort of poker as well as complimentary roulette suits. Nevertheless, British gambling establishment players stop working to appreciate their very own variation of the fruit machines. This is due to the fact that most on the internet gambling establishment supplies five duplicates of the Las vega ports that have a great deal of winning lines. This kind of texas hold'em is entirely various to that of the fruit machine Australia.
Rather surprisingly, on-line betting would not simply sit down as well as let the needs of bettors pass undetected. Certainly, they would constantly get this sort of opportunity as putting up a gambling enterprise consists of needing to deal with teeth and also neck versus competitors. To do so, they need to satisfy and even go beyond the expectations of their clients. A great deal of pc gaming sites make use of Pub design replicas with the aid of Microgaming software. What this does is it assists boost the experience of playing on-line slot machine. It is capable of providing the ports specifically how a person would certainly see them in land-based gambling establishments. Furthermore, the on-line variation also has additional features such as super hold, pushes, holds, to name a few.
Restriction Your Number of Sheds
As you have fun with the on the internet variation of the video game, you would certainly notice that the functions very closely appears like that of those located in the fruit machine, the UK variation of poker. Comparable to any various other gambling enterprise video games, it is additionally based a lot on good luck. That is why among the most effective methods that a player might utilize is to stop while he is still has even more wins than losses. He must have the ability to know when to quit especially if he is on a losing streak. If, as an example, you still continue playing the video game, you run the risk of ending up bankrupt after the game Free Pokies.
Finest No Down Payment Incentive Gambling Enterprises
On the internet casino sites are getting an increasing number of prominent nowadays. They provide different rewards to their present participants as well as likewise lots of special bonuses to brand-new participants so as to draw in more gamers. These incentives are supplied on conditions that you will certainly have to stay in the play for a specified time. If you are a gambling establishment video game enthusiast as well as are looking for an on the internet gambling establishment then the most effective alternative will be to try to find no deposit perk gambling establishments.
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Sorts Of Online Casino Perks
Among the most effective factors that gamers require to on-line gaming is the suggestion of enjoying casino site incentives. While standard land-based gambling establishment perks such as complimentary drinks and dishes obviously can not fit right into the world of internet gaming, betting internet sites still take care of to draw in and compensate consumers by providing them rewarding bonus offers.
Online gamers can be forgiven for getting a little perplexed regarding all the various bonuses as well as promotions offered in the market. Besides, the buzz as well as marketing projects bordering the various type of bonus offers are enough to make any individual concern specifically what type they must benefit from and also just how much they will certainly gain from a certain promo. Therefore, it is absolutely imperative that gamblers have a clear understanding of the different kinds readily available as well as make notified, educated choices regarding their options Free Pokies.
Invite Incentives
Invite bonus offers are specifically as their name suggests - a reward that invites players to a certain online gambling enterprise. Invite (or 'sign-up' rewards) are the online gambling establishment's way to draw in players onto their site as well as try their online casino. With a lot of on-line gambling establishments available, it is essential that welcome bonuses take care of to catch the player's eye with more-than-generous offers and also problems. Sometimes, players may feel that the deal is ALSO excellent to be real; nevertheless, it is certainly worth looking into every promo as a lot of websites really are using wonderful terms merely for players to experiment with their casinos. There are numerous kinds of welcome perks, both most typical being a match benefit as well as a no-deposit perk.
A match reward suggests that the online casino site will match the gamer's initial down payment by a particular percent, usually as much as a particular amount of cash. So, for example, if a site provides a 100% match bonus offer approximately $100, the gamer requires to deposit as much as $100 and will instantly be awarded with another $100 (or 100% of the first deposit) to spend at their pc gaming sessions. This is a great method of increasing one's playing time at the online casino site as well as for that reason putting oneself in line to win a lot more.
A no-deposit bonus is an extremely profitable bargain that is not supplied at all sites. Basically, gamers do not have to make any type of first down payment at the website after registering. Rather, they will instantly be rewarded with credit reports to begin their gaming session. As with all bonus offers, it is important that gamers read the conditions of these kind of promotions very carefully.
Month-to-month Incentives
As soon as players have attempted a particular online casino site with making use of the welcome rewards as well as enjoy the games and features, the opportunities are that they will certainly continue dipping into the online casino over a size of time. To make sure that gamers really do return for even more, sites reward returning consumers with generous month-to-month bonuses - so called due to the fact that they are typically offered on a monthly basis. These incentives are additionally known as reload incentives since they start when gamers reload their accounts at the online casino. The monthly benefit is normally awarded on a percent basis, as an example 20% of the amount that player spends moneying his or her account.
High-Roller Incentives
Obviously, on the internet casino sites are eager to draw in gamers that spend big quantities on their on-line pc gaming home entertainment. Thus, these gamers, called money players, are compensated additional amounts for depositing and also playing at on the internet casinos. High-stakes gamblers likewise take pleasure in one-of-a-kind promos, VIP clubs and other benefits to make their remain as satisfying and also beneficial as feasible Free Pokies.
Repayment Technique Bonuses
Great on-line gambling enterprises use a vast array of payment approaches whereby gamers can transfer as well as withdraw their funds. Some websites wish to motivate players to utilize a certain payment approach (such as Click2Pay or Moneybookers) and therefore supply gamers an extra 10 or 15% additional bonus simply for making use of these techniques.
Online Casino Site Incentives
As can be seen, there are many sorts of bonuses to choose from in the on the internet gambling enterprise industry. The technique is to learn about every one of these as long as feasible and then choose one (or numerous) that suit the gamer's specific gaming requirements and also lifestyle. In the long run, the incentive needs to offer the gamers well as well as ought to not make them invest more than they originally laid out to. When all is claimed as well as done, on-line gambling establishment benefits are among the most effective reasons to check out web video gaming.
A Quick Guide To Online Gambling Establishment Bonus Offers
One of the big attractions of on-line casinos is the various types of rewards provided by them. Remain updated concerning the selection of incentives you can anticipate when you gamble online, to make sure that you can make use of the benefits that profit you the most. Here are one of the most typical type of online gambling establishment bonuses you can anticipate.
Invite Or Sign-Up Benefit
Additionally referred to as the new player perk, the welcome or sign-up perk is the very first point you will come across and the most popular type of bonus offer. These on the internet gambling enterprise perks are usually additional set apart into percentage, no-deposit, or match rewards.
* Suit perks are the most common sort of on-line casino incentive where you obtain one debt for each credit scores you acquire. This is usually a 100 percent benefit on your very first acquisition with a restriction of $100. This bonus might differ as well as it is not mandatory to spend the $100. Most online gambling establishments enable you to purchase a minimal $20 to make you eligible for the match benefit Free Pokies.
* The percent bonus is anything more than 100 percent and provides you 200 percent or 300 percent. Almost all casino benefits are similar to percent perks, no matter whether they take place to be suit or portion Australia.
* The no-deposit benefit is certainly the most preferred bonus offer. It can be cost-free cash in the kind of cost-free gambling establishment credit reports that are included in your gaming account when you subscribe and free play online casino where you obtain a complimentary newbie's equilibrium. You can maintain any kind of earnings that surpass this quantity.
Reload Bonus
A reload bonus offer is offered to get you to keep reloading your account as well as remain to wager online. It is generally comparable to the welcome or sign-up incentive as well as offers a 100 percent pair up. This may be on a monthly, once a week, or day-to-day basis, relying on which on-line gambling establishment you are playing.
Down Payment Method Perk
When you pick a specific down payment method with a casino-usually your credit card or an on-line repayment provider-to fund your gaming account, you obtain a deposit approach reward. This can be in the series of 5 percent to 15 percent, and also is independent of other rewards you get Australia.
High Roller Bonus Offer
A deposit of $1,000 or more receives a money player perk and also ranges from 25 percent to half Australia.
Loyalty Rewards
Loyalty bonuses are used by on-line casino sites as Players Club bonus offers as well as special acquisition bonuses.
* The Players Club perk is typically called a player rewards or "compensation" reward as well as involves accumulating factors based on your on the internet casino games wagers. This is typically set aside as one factor per $10 bet. When you gather 1,000 factors, you can retrieve them in United States dollars in casino site debts. Most gambling establishments enroll you in the casino site players club by default. It is, nonetheless, far better to confirm.
* The special purchase benefit is a deposit bonus offer used to players that have actually already made a deposit. This might be in the kind of a match perk, portion incentive, or a no-deposit reward.
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Casumo offers excellent welcome bonuses to all new players. You can double your first deposit at Casumo Online Casino. However, the casino bonus also comes with a 30x wagering requirement, meaning that at Casumo you need to wager your bonus+deposit 30 times before cashing out. For example, depositing $50 would mean you get to play $100 ($50 deposit + $50 bonus) and you’d need to wager 30x $100= $3000 before cashing out.

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Just like at other online casinos, some online casino games don’t count your whole wager towards clearing the requirement. At Casumo, slots always count 100%. However, there are few exceptions for a few special games: 1429 Uncharted Seas, Bloodsuckers, Dead or Alive, Jack Hammer 2, Kings of Chicago and Simsalabim. Other games contribute as follows:
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Here’s a list of the most popular online casino slots available at Casumo Casino. We love the fact that Casumo Casino Starburst and other slots count 100% towards welcome bonus wagering requirements. This is why we suggest you to play slots when trying to clear your bonuses. Free tip: return to player (RTP) is often highest when playing video slots.
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In addition to the welcome package, you’ll also get to enjoy daily and weekly promotions. You’ll receive more bonuses from weekly campaigns – usually twice a week – and of course there’ll be different bonuses all along with the Casumo adventures.
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Casumo’s casino adventure is one of the most entertaining casino loyalty programs we’ve ever experienced. Most casinos offer a loyalty program nowadays, but Casumo also gives you prizes from other things besides playing game rounds with real money. You’ll evolve your Casumo character by logging in, participating in competitions and different kinds of races, and of course by playing real-money game rounds at the casino.
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Casumo Casino excels in its loyalty program, the Casumo adventure, superior mobile site user experience and excellent bonuses & rewards. Casumo mobile site works perfectly on an all mobile devices. Just like most casinos online, Casumo live casino games are from Evolution Gaming.
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คาสิโนออนไลน์แก่ย้อนไปถึงปี 1994 นี่เป็นขณะที่แอนติกาแล้วก็บาร์บูดาเริ่มที่จะผลิใบอนุญาตแก่หน่วยงานธุรกิจพวกนั้น คาสิโนแรกที่ได้รับการอนุญาตเป็น InterCasino เพื่อเป็นแพลตฟอร์มสำหรับคาสิโนออนไลน์ Microgaming เป็นผู้กระทำหน้าที่นั้น
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บาคาร่า TS911 คาสิโนออนไลน์ ที่เยี่ยมที่สุดใน มองดูโกเลีย 2020

บาคาร่า TS911 คาสิโนออนไลน์ ที่เยี่ยมที่สุดใน มองดูโกเลีย 2020
มองดูโกเลียเป็นประเทศที่เจอในทวีปเอเชีย มันเส้นเขตแดนอีกทั้งรัสเซียและก็จีน มันไม่มีวันออกสู่สมุทรรวมทั้งมีภูมิทัศน์ที่กว้างใหญ่เต็มไปด้วยตำแหน่งที่ตั้งที่ตะปุ่มตะป่ำซึ่งนำไปสู่วัฒนธรรมระหกระเหินภายในประเทศ นักเดินทางเพลินใจกับวัดทางศาสนาพุทธโบราณรวมทั้งอุทยานแห่งชาติ ผู้คนในประเทศดูโกเลียสามารถเล่นเกมคาสิโนออนไลน์ได้
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submitted by TSBLOG01 to u/TSBLOG01 [link] [comments]

My attempted guide to live low stakes poker in Vegas

Thought this could be handy to some people heading out there, especially at this time of year. I'm a BE micro stakes donk who plays online for fun with some casino experience in London, UK, decided to head out to Vegas to see the sights and blow some money on live poker for the experience. Spent some time googling before going because there are so many rooms that it can be tricky choosing one to play at, here's my take on it. I went for 10 days and got back yesterday, only playing 1/2 and a few donkaments.
Some tips before going - most of the rooms are pretty similar in terms of quality, mostly tourists/old men with one or two decent young players. Each room will run different promos of some kind or another, I would recommend downloading the 'Bravo Poker Live' app and spending 15 minutes or so having a flick through the poker rooms - you can star the ones you are interested in plus keep an eye out for other games you might want to play (few rooms ran 1/1 PLO for example). It also shows live wait list and how many tables are running that I found to be pretty accurate. The app also details all of the promotions that the poker rooms run, for example how much you get paid for a royal etc. Also make sure you sign up for the reward cards, it's free to do, takes a few minutes and pretty much everywhere will give you $2 an hour towards food. Also - all drinks are free everywhere, including alcohol! You just need to tip the cocktail waitresses.
Ballys
I really liked it here and turned up one morning before going Grand Canyon and it had the most insane game I've ever seen - they run a (n optional) $20 straddle from any position and some guy and his friend were doing it for like an hour straight. Good cocktail service and friendly dealers, normally was at least two tables going during the day, definitely the softest games around without a notable absence of pros/crushers, I think this is because they don't do promos. They do, however, give you a free buffet when you play for fours hours or more which was awesome and I took advantage of a lot of times before eating and going elsewhere.
MGM
I liked this place because of the promo it ran - if you hit a full house you get a ticket into a raffle (they just put all the tickets into a box) and draw a ticket once an hour, if your ticket gets pulled you win $200 in cash. I was lucky enough to win it once. They also have a good full house promo thing where they put particular full houses up on the wall (for example 555TT and JJJ99) and you win a certain amount if you hit them (it was $1500 the last day I played). Pretty active room with a lot of tourists (especially crazy on Saturday night after some MMA fight or something happened in the hotel) but I did notice a lot of the same guys sipping water playing through the early hours feeding on the fish. Overall though a decent room plus you get $2 an hour in comps for food that you can use at Starbucks as well as other places in the casino. Side note - I've never seen so many insanely hot women in one place. The poker room is just off from a nightclub and you get a steady stream of some of the world's most beautiful women stumbling out wearing next to nothing on weekend evenings. Someone at our table actually paid a guy $20 at the table next to us to move so he had a better view!
Planet Hollywood
The atmosphere in here is unlike anywhere else, tunes are pumping with 10/10 birds dancing next to naked on the Blackjack tables opposite, was like playing in the middle of a nightclub. There isn't really a room as such, it's just a load of tables in the centre of the casino. Was one of the busier places, often 10+ tables running in evenings. This is the kind of place that attracts guys buying in for the maximum wearing jewel encrusted watches on both wrists and showing their buddies sitting behind them their cards before shoving on a bluff. The music brings a very noticeable tempo to the game, people play and bet insanely quickly and nearly everyone was drinking booze in the evenings, not really the place for old man nits. A guy hit a royal when I was there and got $500. Alas, the atmosphere got to me and I ended up getting pissed as a fart and dropping a lot so be careful if you get caught up in atmospheres, great action room though, probably my favourite 'unique' experience.
Excalibur
Cool room that did cheap tourneys ($45) a few times a day that turn into 5BB shove fest after an hour or so. Easy room with a lot of drunk tourists, I actually regret not coming back here and checking it out more. They do a thing where if your aces get cracked you get a free spin on a 'wheel of fortune' type thing - most of the prizes are $25 but you have the chance to win a few hundred. Seemed easy level of play with little or no pros/regs
Mandalay Bay
Only played here for a few hours, nice room next to a huge sportsbook but the tournament structure was horrible - I stupidly registered 30 minutes late and got like 10BB if that. Cash was full of people playing at the hotel and limping every hand but I only played a few hours on like a Wednesday morning so not sure what it's like in the evenings.
Flamingo
Action! Didn't play much but seemingly everyone drinks and the games are fast and loose, definitely worth checking this place out. They run 1/1 PLO too but I couldn't get a game going when I was there
Caesars Palace
I turned up here at like 5am one morning and gave it a go, left after 30 minutes. Table was full of absolute beasts with $1k + stacks, extremely noticeable step up in quality compared to other rooms and not just marginal either, I was well out of my depth. It was a really nice room to play in and the casino was cool, I was going to give it another go but didn't get around to it, I assumed there must be a lot of fish if this many reg pros were playing.
Bellagio
Really nice room and probably the most elegant casino in Vegas, twice tried getting in a game here but the waitlist was like an hour long both times (38 people!) so gave it a miss. Twice I showed up and gawped at Doyle Brunson like a tourist, also saw Negreanu as well. Looked like a lot of big pros really do play here, they have a large selection of games including mixed and high stakes. Kinda regret not sticking around and playing here just in the hopes of getting a table change somewhere near Bobby's room so I could lean over and watch those guys for an hour or so, I suspect I'm not the only one thinking like that. FYI 1/3 is the minimum game here.
Golden Nugget
This is downtown so about a 30 minutes bus ride from the strip depending on traffic. Quite a lot of tables in a tight room and it's the only poker room on Downtown (I think? Binions only had tourneys running IIRC) so you get a lot of drunk tourists wandering in off of the Freemont street show. I actually had my best session here after shoving the turn with a J on a 9TQK board and getting called by two people without a straight, this should tell you everything you need to know about the calibre of play.
Well hopefully this gives people an idea of what they're heading into, happy to answer other Vegas specific questions if anyone has any, I hardly slept and smashed the shit out of the city for a week so feel I picked up quite a bit about how it works now. Overall the games are very easy compared to your average 1/2 in London for example. Best week of my life, fuck coming home :(
submitted by fat_lazy_mofo to poker [link] [comments]

A final response to the "Tell me why Trump is a terrible businessman"

Trump shows he doesn’t know how the economy works by thinking he can fix the debt by just printing more money.

Trump wants to go back to the Gold standard despite warning from economists.

Trump proposes tanking the economy so he could renegotiate the public debt and pay discounted prices to investors of US Treasury bonds.

Trump proposes plan that would shrink the economy by 2% according to experts.

Trumps Trade War with China would increase the price of everyday goods and products up to 40% or more.

Trumps current spending plan would bankrupt the country.

Trumps Tax cuts would add $24.5 trillion to the national debt

Trump wants a $3.2 trillion tax cut for millionaires.

Trump thinks unemployment is really 40% despite the fact that would put the unemployment rate at twice the height it was during the great depression.

Trump lowers his number and thinks unemployment is 20% which is still wrong.

Trump win would tank stock market according to billionaire financial guru.

Trump ranked on the same level as ISIS in terms of causing global economy instability by Economist Intelligence Analysts.

Trumps claim about trade deficit is $200 billion dollars off.

https://www.census.gov/foreign-trade/balance/c5700.html

Trump promises to decrease taxes without increasing the national deficit despite the fact that is literally impossible.

Far Right Conservative Think Tanks and Republican professors acknowledge Trumps plan would not only create an economic collapse but a breakdown of basic everyday life.

Trump declares bankruptcy… Four, Six separate times.

Trump $3 billion dollars in debt in 1991.

Trumps Entertainment Resorts are forced to declare bankruptcy. Trump lies and claims “I have nothing to do with the company,”

Trumps Casinos were failures.

Trump refuses to pay back wages to his wife's personal assistant unless he signed a non-disclosure agreement.

Trump accused of illegally withholding checks from employees.

Trump hires illegal workers and pays them below minimum wage.

Trump accused of engaging in incidents of physical assault, verbal abuse, intimidation, and threats of physical harm towards workers to suppress unions.

British Human Rights Journalist says conditions for workers at Trumps Dubai Golf course are “The worst I have ever seen”

Trump tries to start his own Mortgage company right before the housing bubble crash and fails.

Trump tries to start his own airline and in three years never turns a profit.

Trump tries to make his own monopoly ripoff, twice. Predicted 2 million units sold. It gets no where near that and fails.

Trump tries to make his own Vodka line. He promises it will beat Grey Goose and it fails.

Trump tries to make his own steak line. It’s discontinued due to poor sales and he fails.

Trump tries to start his own magazine, it fails.

Trump tries to start his own travel site, it fails.

Trump tries to make a Tour De France rival called Tour de Trump that fails.

Trump tries to make his own football league it fails, he loses $30 million dollars. Then he tries to sue the NFL for $1.7 billion.

Trump starts his own line of vitamins, consumer watchdog groups and health experts label it as a scam. It also fails.

Trump somehow thinks ISIS has become competition against him in the real estate industry after falsely believing they started building their own Hotels.

Hundreds claim Trump refused to pay bills.

When asked about his companies regularly violating the Fair Labor Standards Act Trump says, “That’s the way it should be.”

Trump defrauds students through scam university.

Trump makes racist comments about Judge in the class action lawsuit involving said scam university.

Trump takes a $40 million dollar loan from Deutsche Bank and when they ask him to repay the loan he refuses and sues them for $3 billion dollars.

Trumps daughter recalls story during her childhood when Trump pointed at a homeless man saying he was 4 billion dollars richer than him because, “that’s how much debt I’m in.”

Trump Bribes corrupt government officials to seize elderly woman’s house using eminent domain to get more Limo Parking Space.

Trump tried to use eminent domain to steal the house of a Holocaust survivor.

Trump uses slumlord tactics of hiring thugs to physically intimidate tenants.

Trump retaliates against tenant for filing complaint by drilling holes in her ceiling and filling her apartment with construction dust. (Tenant later dies of lung cancer.)

Trump picked stock fraud felon as senior adviser.

Trump brand used to swindles buyers out of life savings through fraud in failed Condo project.

Trump named in over 3,500 lawsuits.

Trump uses bribery and secret financing to circumvent state law and stop competitors.

Trump is fined 200,000$ in 1992 by the New Jersey Division of Gaming Enforcement for not allowing blacks or women onto his casino floor while racist Mafia leader is gambling.

Trump tries to violate Antitrust regulations through purgery and identity theft to steal two separate companies.

Court case implicated Trump in fraud, money-laundering, conspiracy, perjury and the theft of trade secrets.

Trump violates federal gambling laws.

Trump outright commits tax evasion.

Trump commits felony and lies to the Securities and Exchange Commission about company earnings with the hope of cheating taxes.

Trump steals over $300,000 from worker pensions.

Trump hires Illegal Immigrants over U.S citizens.

Trump hires Illegal Immigrants again but this time defrauds them of pay.

Trumps makes majority of products in China.

Not even Trumps Make America Great Again Hats are made in America.

Trump violates immigration laws by sneaking Illegal Immigrants into the U.S for modeling jobs then refuses to pay them.

Trump hires a financial analyst to gauge his Taj Mahal Casino project, the analyst says that the project would fail by the end of that year. Trump sues the analyst demanding he says it will succeed. By the end of the year the Casino declares bankruptcy.

Trump sues small travel agency founded in 1985 for coincidentally sharing his name.

Trump sues small Georgia business for making “Trump Cards” in 1988 despite the fact they weren’t even referencing his name.

Trump sues a small Indian restaurant for sharing the name of one of his Casinos. That restaurants name? “The Taj Mahal”

Trump sues union when they reveal that Trump doesn’t even stay in his own hotels.

Trump tries to sell the Empire State Building despite not owning it. He then sues the real owner in retaliation.

Author Timothy O’Brien calls Trump a millionaire instead of a billionaire. Trump responds by suing him for $5 billion dollars. O’Brien gets to court and is able to prove Trump had been lying about his net worth and was in reality worth between $150 and $250 million.

Comedian, Bill Maher responds to Trumps demands for Obama to release his birth certificate to prove he was born in America saying Trump should release his to prove his mother had not mated with an orangutan. Trump responds by suing Bill Maher for 5 million dollars.

Later when asked if Trump knew Maher was joking and didn’t actually think Trump was the product of bestiality Trumps responds with “I don’t think he was joking. He said it with venom.”
(I just want everyone reading this to take a moment and wonder how people would react if Hillary tried to take away a comedians free speech and make them pay her millions over making a joke about her)

Trump sues employee for quitting.

Trump threatens to sue artist after his supporters find where she lives, stalks and attacks her because she made a painting of him with a small penis.

News outlet threatened with lawsuit over writing story about Trumps hair plugs.

submitted by marisam7 to EnoughTrumpSpam [link] [comments]

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